Even Though Actors Do the Same Show Over and Over Again They Cannot Actually It
Have yous always wondered why people proceed repeating the same thing in conversations over and over? If you're anything like me, you can't ignore the content of conversations because you know that language can exist a window to the mind.
People repeat what they say for a number of reasons in a multifariousness of contexts. I'thousand only concerned here with those instances where what they say over and over tin can provide clues to their psychological makeup.
Outset off, I want to be articulate as to what specific instances I'm talking about. I'm non talking nearly instances where a person repeats something in a conversation considering they feel they've non been heard- a person repeating their betoken in a debate, for example.
I'1000 also non talking virtually instances where information technology's obvious why the person is repeating themselves. An example would be a kid repeatedly asking for candy when her female parent clearly has no intention of giving one.
The incidences I'm talking about are the ones where you notice that someone tells others the aforementioned affair that they've told you. It's usually a story of an incident that happened to them.
At present my question is: Why would they, of all topics, continue maxim the same thing to the people they run into?
Before we delve into the possible reasons, I'd like to characterize an incident from my own life:
I and a few classmates were working on a group projection in the terminal semester of my undergrad. We had 2 assessments for the project work- small-scale and major. During the minor assessment, our professor pointed out a shortcoming in our project work.
It'south natural to experience bad (no matter how slightly) when you experience something like this. Just what I noticed was that not all of united states in the grouping were affected in the same way by that remark.
While most of us forgot well-nigh it soon after, there was this 1 girl in our group who was clearly more afflicted past it than the remainder of the states. How do I know that?
Well, afterward that incident she kept repeating what the professor had said to almost anybody she talked to, at least in my presence. So much so that she even pointed it out in our major assessment despite my warning of non revealing anything that may undermine our assessment.
This intrigued and frustrated me. I confronted her and said, rather angrily, "Why do yous continue mentioning it to everyone? Why is it such a big bargain to you?"
She didn't have an answer. She fell silent. Since then, I've noticed many people, including myself, appoint in the exact same behaviour.
The mind is always trying to make sense of things
If someone tells you that your friend died in an accident and gives y'all a detailed description of what happened, y'all're unlikely to ask whatever more questions. You may immediately sideslip into a state of stupor, disbelief, or even sadness.
Consider what would happen if they just told that you that your friend died without telling you lot why or how. Yous'd desperately ask the same questions over and over till your listen makes sense of the incident (with the help of relevant answers).
This example is pretty straightforward where y'all're repeatedly asking questions to become answers. But why would someone repeat something that is non necessarily a question?
Once again, the answer is the same. Their mind is trying to brand sense of what happened. The consequence is unresolved in their listen. Past repeating the same thing over and over, they want to resolve it and do away with it.
Many things that we encounter on a daily footing get hands resolved (I brutal because I slipped, he laughed considering I said something funny, etc.). Only some things are not then easily resolved and leave deep impressions on us.
Consequently, our minds get stuck in this loop of trying to make sense of them because they haven't made full sense to us yet.
By traumas and repeating the same things
A person who has had a traumatic experience in the by may keep acting out these traumas in their dreams. Just by talking about the trauma repeatedly, trying to make sense of it, can they hope to terminate these dreams.
When we hear the give-and-take trauma we tend to think of some major unfortunate incident. But trauma also comes in other, minor forms. That remark our professor made was traumatic for the girl who went on to tell everyone about it.
When people get shut to each other in relationships, they ofttimes talk almost their bad by and childhood experiences. They may not overly limited how those experiences traumatized them. They may try to portray the instances equally entertaining or interesting. Just the fact that they're repeating these stories is a potent indication of trauma.
Side by side time your friend says, "Have I told y'all this before?" say "No" even if they accept, just to get a better agreement of their psychology.
Justifying yourself and repeating the aforementioned things
Often, the bad experiences a person is trying to brand sense of, by talking about them repeatedly, involve self-blame. On a deep level, the person thinks that they're somehow responsible for what happened to them. Or at least, they had a function in it or could have avoided it somehow.
So when they are telling their story it's likely that they'll try to justify themselves. In doing so, they may fifty-fifty distort the story and narrate it in such a way that clears them of any blame and showcases them every bit victims.
Why do they do this?
We're always trying to project a practiced image of ourselves to our fellow humans, peculiarly those who matter to u.s.a.. If there's something in our recent or distant past that has the potential to degrade our epitome, we make certain that they know nosotros're not to arraign.
This paradoxical situation of first blaming oneself and and so trying to vindicate oneself commonly happens on an unconscious level. So it's no wonder that people keep repeating this behaviour without stopping to cocky-reverberate.
It's of import to remember that these instances that people repeatedly talk most may not necessarily be traumatic. It could be anything they oasis't yet fabricated full sense of.
When that girl in our projection group repeated the professor's remark, it didn't traumatize me merely it left an impression still. At the time, I wasn't able to make sense of information technology.
Therefore, my mind kept replaying the incident over and over and I might equally well accept told the same story to others over and over but I didn't.
Lucky for them, I'm often self-reflective enough not to engage in behaviours that may reveal my psychology. And so I spared them the colorlessness. I've finally told the story and attempted to make sense of information technology via this commodity.
Hi, I'm Hanan Parvez (MBA, MA Psychology), founder and author of PsychMechanics. I've published one book and authored 400+ articles on this blog (started in 2014) that have garnered over 4.5 1000000 views. PsychMechanics has been featured in Forbes, Business concern Insider, Reader'due south Digest, and Entrepreneur. Experience gratis to contact me if you have a query.
Source: https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-people-keep-repeating-same-thing/
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